I didn't write the list that you will read next, but it reminded me of you, and it cracked me up, so I just had to post it. I want it in your blog-baby-book so that way you have a chance to read it. Without any further ado, here it is:
Approximately Three Minutes In The Mind Of My Two Year Old
by Jason Good
Each of these “emotions” lasts about 3 seconds.
- I wanna play with Daddy’s phone.
- I wanna put on Mommy’s shoes.
- GET MOMMY’S SHOES OFF MY FEET NOW!
- I wanna open and close the thermostat.
- I wanna turn on and off the light on the microwave.
- Is there anyone here with a phone I haven’t played with yet?
- I NEED TO PUSH SOME GODDAMN BUTTONS.
- I wanna pick up the cat by it’s head.
- I wanna throw all the toothbrushes in the sink.
- HOLY SHIT I’M STARVING.
- CHEDDAR BUNNIES.
- I HATE FRUIT.
- I want out of my chair.
- I wanna play with the iPad.
- I wanna go outside. No, I wanna turn the heat on.
- I wanna take my pants off.
- I don’t like the shirt I’m wearing.
- I wanna play with Mommy’s phone.
- I NEED TO PUSH MORE BUTTONS NOW.
- I’m thirsty.
- No, not for that.
- Yes, perfect, juicebox. I’m gonna squeeze this damn thing all over myself.
- Where’s Daddy?
- Where’s the cat?
- Where’s Mommy?.
- SERIOUSLY WHERE’S MOMMY!?
- Oh my God I think Mommy left forever.
- Ok, there’s mommy. I want to play with her phone
- Hungry again. Never mind
- I just remembered not liking these pants. Get them off.
- STOP TAKING OFF MY PANTS!
- Wow, I’m starving. I want peas but I don’t know how to tell anyone.
- Finally, peas. I like throwing these.
- WHY DO I STILL HAVE THESE PANTS ON?
- Oh look, a new person. I wonder if they have a phone.
- Im tired.
- IM NOT TIRED!
- I wanna go for a walk but I don’t wanna go outside.
- No, not inside either!
- I need to push some buttons right now.
- I hate this diaper.
- My eyes itch.
- WOW! Is this my toe?
- STOP TRYING TO TAKE MY PANTS OFF!
- I hate these pants.
- This shirt itches.
- I’m tired.
- Stop asking me if I’m tired.
- Where’s that toy that goes beep.
- I wanna take a bath in my clothes.
- Put on my favorite song.
- Where’s the cat?
- What is UP with my shirt?
- Did I just hear a dog bark?
- YOU DID NOT JUST TRY TO TAKE OFF MY SHIRT AGAIN!
- I wanna see a dog.
- No, not OUTSIDE! I wanna see a dog inside.
- Is my penis still there? Good.
- I peed.
- I’m bored.
Yup, that about sums it up! But add in a little Wheel of Fortune, some Daddy worship and Loveys. But we love you and all the funny things that make up you and your days.