Ian

Ian

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Motherhood Is...

Dear Ian,

When I got pregnant with you, I had a small clue of what being around small people was like; I mean, come on: by the time you came along, I had been teaching or running a preschool for almost 10 years.  However, the 24-7 gig that was you totally rocked my world there for a bit, and even though now that we generally have the hang of things, you still tend to throw me for a loop.  I will be honest and say that as much as I have taught you in your three-and-almost-one-half years on the planet, you have probably taught me just as much.  And the lessons have been immensely valuable. 

Every mother has their own idea of what motherhood and parenting "is" to them, and while I had an idea before you were born, you have helped me to define motherhood in some amazing ways.  My impression of motherhood was that whole "decision to have your heart forever go walking outside your body" or some such stuff.  I'm paraphrasing, and I really do love that quote, but for now, I'm going to be snarky and sarcastic, because I have come to realize that motherhood is more than just all that lovey-dovey stuff.  (Although you are my little Lovey-dovey).

Below are my new definitions of my role, as influenced by you.

Motherhood is...

...the ability to hear the same word or phrase over and over without losing your mind.  Sort of.  Your current repeat phrase is just the simple word, "Mama."  EVERYTHING starts with this.  And you talk A LOT!  One of these days, I am going to video record one of our afternoons.  So far, since 3:00pm today, you have said "Mama"  218 times.  No joke.

Motherhood is...

...the ability to remember the last time your child ate/pooped/napped/got a tetanus shot, whether their laundry is clean, when you have to deliver eggs for the class egg hunt, your spouse's work schedule and your in-laws wedding anniversary.  But you CANNOT remember where you put your cell phone, which is still in your hand.  This has happened twice this week.

Motherhood is...

...the ability to lie explain creatively the answers to all sorts of questions without needing to know the secrets of the universe or reveal how people make babies.

Motherhood is...

...the ability to deal with all sorts of nasty bodily fluids and behaviors that, had it been another person's child, would have you running away screaming, "Awww HELL naw."

Motherhood is...

...the bipolar-ism that comes with not wanting your child to get hurt, but then realizing that some lessons just need to be learned the hard way.

Motherhood is...

...realizing that when you open your mouth to speak to your child, your own mother comes leaping out.  (This is not such a bad thing.  It cracks me up more that anything.)

Motherhood is...

...sitting down to write this post and realizing yet again what a cool adventure I am on.  Sure, there are moments when I want to run for the hills, or beach, or desert or moon, but then I look at the funny, smart little kid you are and understand that I am part of the reason you are who you are.  (Can't forget about Daddy here; he's a wonderful, sometimes eclectic influence on you, too.)  And that realization gives me the ultimate definition of motherhood.

Motherhood is...

...humbling.  Whether you were peeing on me as a baby, or moving me to tears when I catch you being an empathetic friend, or shocking me by your blossoming ability to read, I am forever humbled that I get to have you.

Daddy and I love you always,
Mommy