Two Hands

Dear Ian,

Two hands worth of birthdays.  Wow

 Today is your sixth birthday.  At this very moment, six years ago, I was laying in a hospital bed, holding you and staring at your little face wondering about the person you would become.  Tonight, I looked at your face, less baby and more and more big kid every second, and I had the same thought.

You're well on your way to being grown up.  Your age now takes up two hands worth of fingers!  But more importantly than the number, you're turning in to an amazing boy.  You are funny, smart, and so much your own little person.  There are moments still when I stop and my breath catches because I simply can't believe you're mine.  And I am so proud of the young man into which you are growing.

Today I got to visit your classroom, share a special birthday lunch and snack with you and your classmates and spend some time hanging out in your room. Since it was your birthday, you got to

In the teacher's chair as your friends tell you all about you

sit up in the front of the room in the "teacher chair," and your friends were able to raise their hand and say something complimentary about you.  There were some sweet comments about how you're a good soccer player and how your friends are glad they get to play with you, and then there were some truly heart-touching, to this mom anyway, moments.  One little girl in your class said that she really liked how you try your best at things, and yet another classmate said that they really liked how you helped others who were hurting.  More than one classmate said you were very kind, and a couple mentioned that you were a good friend. 

Your teacher called you kind and thoughtful and willing to play and work with everyone.  She also said that you were a dedicated student and a good role model to the others in your class.  This made my heart feel so full, and it was in that moment, as I stood there trying not to get all teary eyed, that I realized exactly what I hoped and wished for that little tiny baby I held on October 19, 2009.  I saw a world of potential in that new-born face.  Would you grow up to be successful in your work?  Would you one day discover something amazing?  You have the whole world ahead of you.  But I realize now, that more than anything spectacular that I may wish for you, my biggest hope and dream is that you are just a good person.  I want you to be a friend to many and a beacon for others.  I want for you to be confident and happy.  And after hearing what your classmates had to say, and after all I've seen and heard from you during the last six years, I feel like I just might be doing something right.  You're well on your way, and I couldn't be more proud.

Happy birthday to you, my boy.  Words can't express how much I love you, but know that it is with ALL of my heart,
Your Mommy

Lunch Box Notes

Dear Ian,

The sole purpose of this blog is to record and remind you of memories of your childhood and family history.  I've written about crazy family moments, brought back memories of my own childhood and turned this into basically an expanded "baby book" to record your firsts and experiences.

But I'm curious to fast forward and know this: what exactly will YOU remember on your own?  What memories will stick like glue in your head and heart that you will pass on to your own children?  Will it be something I've written about here, or will it be something that I considered maybe a little insignificant yet really made an impression on you?

Our day to day life is filled with little sweet moments; I can't write about all of them, and I won't subject the people that read this blog (isn't THAT a hoot...  other people actually read this stuff!) to all of our sappy minutiae. Will it be one of those little moments that means the most to you?

your lunch for your first day of school.  complete with note...

The other day, you said something to me that made me stop and realize the importance of those little seemingly ordinary moments.  I have a habit of putting little notes in your lunch box.  I've done it since your very first day - yet not every day - of school, and I figured you just looked at it and then tossed it aside.  You know, "that nutty mom" style.  Until one Thursday morning you asked me why I hadn't put one in your lunch in a couple of days.  I honestly didn't know how many days I had gone without your note, but you did.  My last note, according to you, was on Monday.  And here it was three days later.  I said something along the lines of not realizing it, and you responded with, "But I really like it Momma.  It makes me feel your love. You're thinking of me."

That simple sentence floored me.  And it touched my heart.  I told you that I was so glad that you liked them, because that was the whole reason I did them; I wanted you to know I was thinking of you.  It's nice to know that someone you love is thinking of you.  And sometimes a note in a lunch box is all you need to help you get through a rough day. 

And then I sat down to lunch that day with the children in my class and found this:

I was so surprised and touched to see my very own lunch box note. My little boy was thinking of me and showing me that he loved me.  And with that little reminder, I was able to finish my day with a smile on my face.  Sometimes you just need to know that someone is thinking of you, and I didn't realize how badly I needed it until I saw your little note.

You never cease to amaze me, and I hope this is one thing you never forget; you were able to surprise your momma and show me how much you love me in such a simple way.  We don't need grand gestures to make amazing memories.  These little ones are the best kind.

Thank you, Little Bear, for thinking of me.  And know that this is one of my favorite memories to date.


Love,
Mommy

Adventures in Sleep-walking: A Story for your Prom Dates

Dear Ian,

As the mother of  a boy, I have learned quite a bit.  I've been challenged to explain "boy parts" with grace and maturity, I've witnessed you pee in your own ear as an infant (which prompted me to learn to change the diaper of a boy baby MUCH faster), and I have cleaned dirt and mud from all parts of your little self.  I've learned to enjoy bathroom humor, put up with the world's smelliest shoes - seriously, I did not know boy feet could smell that badly this early - and countless other adventures. 

I grew up with two younger brothers, I so I'm not completely clueless when it comes to the life and [gross] times of boys.  I just never dealt with boy things as a mom.  And while they can be completely disgusting, they can also be downright hilarious.  

Take last night for example... 

You sleep in a room at the top of our stairs, and since Mommy is paranoid of you falling down the stairs in your sleep, there's a baby gate up there to block the way.  Last night, while sitting on the couch watching football while Daddy was working on the laptop, I thought I heard the baby gate open.  I looked up at the top of the stairs, and there you stood, with the baby gate wide open and your jammie pants around your ankles ready to pee.  Down my stairs.  I think I broke a new world record getting up the stairs in the nick of time to direct you to the toilet, but we made it.  You were mad at me for hollering at you to stop and then redirecting you, but I managed to save the stairs and you from falling.  I am not saving you, however, from this story, because after the fear of having wet stairs or an injured boy, it was really funny.  One of your uncles - and I won't say which - pottied in a trash can in the middle of the night once, and I've heard stories of others doing similar things.  And they are hilarious!   But when it's your kid, it's even funnier.  And it's a story I plan on saving up for just the right moment. 

Love you with all my heart, asleep or awake...
Mommy

The Drop Off

Dear Ian,

Today it happened.  I knew it was coming, but I don't think I was completely prepared for it.  Today you asked me to drop you off at car-drop-off instead of walking you to your classroom.  It wasn't exactly like it was the first time I've ever done it; I drop you off like that every Monday, Wednesday and Friday because those are days I have to break land-speed records to get back to my room so my classroom parents can drop off their kids.  But on Tuesdays and Thursdays I would walk with you to your classroom and drop you off at the door.

But today...  Today you wanted me to leave you so you could walk on your own or with a friend.  I'm not all emotional, but it is a big step for this mom to just leave her baby.  Yes, yes.  You're not a baby.  But your MY baby.  And watching you walk away, with your big ol' backpack, was sorta hard.  You look so small compared to the upper grade kids that attend your school, but you're growing more every day.  And here was just one more step.

 Ready to start your day!

Sniff...

That last picture is a picture of you in my side-view mirror.  I watch you as long as I can, before someone honks their horn at me to get a move-on out of the school drive way.  I cant help it!  I waited years for you, and here you are walking away all independent and stuff.  

I am so proud of you, and you continue to amaze me every day.  I am so lucky to be your mommy.  Pretty soon, though, you'll be asking me to wear dark glasses and to drop you off a block away.  Don't count on it, Little Man.  There's a limit...

Love you bunches,

Mommy