Saturday, October 15, 2011

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Dear Ian,

Your second birthday is swiftly approaching, and I know that with it will come changes in the things you say and do.  So to help me remember all of these little fun phrases and quirks you have, here's another list of Ian-isms.

1.  Too Also:  This is usually how you finish a comparative statement.  And might I mention, it's one of Daddy's favorites.  We've even recorded it on our video recorder thingie.  Anyhoo.  Like I wrote before, you're not satisfied to just say, "Mommy likes chocolate, too."  Instead, you double clarify your statement by saying, "Mommy likes chocolate, too, also!"  Cracks me up.

2.  Independence:  Lately, with the onset of our two-ness, you've become more adamant about doing things for yourself.  Like most parents of twos, we've been hearing a whole lot of "Ian do it" around the house.  From pulling up your pants, to pouring your own orange juice to carrying your school bag, you've become your own man, and heaven help the person who stands in your way!

3.  The iPad:  For the rest of the world, the term iPad brings to mind technology.  Not for you, though.  Sigh.  I'm actually sort of embarrassed to write this, but here we go...  Your Daddy is very big on teaching you the correct terms for things, and the other day in the grocery store, at your questioning, told you that the correct name for a certain ladies sanitary items was "pad."  Fast forward to our next trip to Publix, and w hen we went down that aisle, you very excitedly pointed to the packages on the shelf and hollered, "iPADS!!"  The woman next to us lost it and laughed herself silly to the cookie aisle.

4.  Toilet Humor:  Where is it written that little boys are to find all things poop hilarious?  Because to you, it is.  Dang funny stuff.  The other day we were leaving Publix (Lord, do we LIVE there?!) and a gaggle of geese was walking across the parking lot.  We watched them waddle along, and then one of them answered the call of nature.  You pointed and screeched, "POOP!"  Then you laughed the hardest I think I have ever heard.  And for some reason, your own toots crack you up.  I am in for a long, long life of poop humor, I do believe.

5.  Random Ian quotes.  Sometimes you say things that catch me off guard and make me laugh.  Here are a few of those exchanges...

Daddy: *in the kitchen filling a glass with ice so he can make me some ice water.
Ian: "What doing Daddy?"
Daddy: "Making mommy a drink."
Ian: "A Margarita?"
Is this really how you see me?!

Ian: (after going poop on the potty) "Poo poos going swimmin'."
Lord knows where you got this...

Boogers in your nose are apparently also hilarious.  We blow your nose, you announce the presence of boogers and then giggle.  Sigh.

Your new favorite thing to say is, "Wow!  Look at fill-in-the-blank." 

Daddy: "Where does milk come from?"
Ian: "Publix."
Apparently we do live there.

Now that you are becoming more and more verbal, Daddy and I are getting to that phase in our lives when we'll have to walk about on pins and needles, painfully aware that everything we say and do will be scrutinized and reported to the public.  For example, I have a feeling that Mommy-and-Ian showers are quickly going to be obsolete since you so clearly pointed out our "differences" the other morning.  And it wont be long until you start telling the world stories about how things happen in our house.  Time to make some changes!  Here's hoping that your teachers only believe about half of the things that come out of your mouth.

I'm going to close this blog post with a picture that someone sent me via the internet the other day.  It was actually what spawned the idea for this blog post, as it is how a child presented a story about her mother.  It's only a matter of time before your honest assessment of life at home gets misconstrued...  And Lord help me when it does.

I love you with all of my heart, so please remember that before you tell your teacher that your Mommy's favorite thing to drink is Margaritas, ok?  Mommy likes wine, too, also...

Your Mommy

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