Friday, June 4, 2010

Separation Anxiety

Dear Ian,

In just a few minutes, your Daddy and I will be driving you to your Grandma and Grandpa Brooks' house for you to spend most of the weekend with them. Daddy and I are going to Atlanta to attend John and Haley Lenker's wedding, and we thought it would be a good idea for you to stay here. It's a bit of a long drive, and we figured that after that drive, the last thing that you would want to do is sit on our laps and watch a wedding. Outside. In June. Whew. I'm hot thinking about it. Plus, it gives your Daddy and I the added bonus of getting to spend some time together, just the two of us. We are very lucky to have both sets of your grandparents here in Tallahassee, and we have been able to go on dates, but this is a long trip just for us. I have to admit, I am a little torn about it.

On one hand, I am excited about going away with Daddy and having time to talk without bottles, nap schedules and diapers. Not to mention your very active play-times! But on the other hand, I don't know what I'm going to do without bottles, nap schedules, diapers and playing with you. Remember that last post about me being Karen as well as Mommy? Well, this will contribute to my sense of self, but you are such a part of me, I think I will feel an ache with every mile that separates us. Never have I been more than a 10 minute drive (well, depending on how fast I drive) away from you. This is going to be tough.

I know that you are in great hands with your grandparents, but it just feels weird that you wont be in MY hands. I know you will also have a great time; you love to play and have fun with new people. But I'm your Mommy, and I worry about you, and I will miss you something fierce!
It's only a weekend, and one day you will pack up and head off to college (Furman, young man, on full scholarship), and I will have to deal with that separation anxiety, but thankfully that's still a bit away.

So here's a hug, a kiss and your snuggle before each nap or bed time. Here's your lullaby, your prayers and your tuck-in as you get ready to sleep. Here's your pat-pats as you fall asleep, and here's the part you don't know, because you are already asleep... I kiss your head and whisper, I love you. Because I do.


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