Friday, January 4, 2013

Final Answer

Dear Ian,

It's the New Year, and therefore it's time for the whole wide world to decide on resolutions that they are going to keep for 2013.  Some will be met, most will be forgotten, but the fact that we get to start the year with a clean slate gives is ripe with possibility.  And having a plan makes us face the year prepared and eager for the challenge.  It also gives us something to focus on after a night of staying up too late and possibly imbibing in too much champagne.  (I direct your attention to this post to remind you that we all went to bed at around 9pm)

I have thought long and hard about this year's resolution for myself.  In the past I have done the old and tired "I resolve to eat healthy, keep a spotless home and center myself with four hours of yoga a day" resolutions, and I usually fail miserably.  I end up eating a couple of the left-over mini cheesecakes from our New Year's shindigs within minutes of stating my plans for the year, and my four hours of yoga turn into two hours of Pinterest, one hour of napping and one hour of regretting not doing my yoga.  So...  what's a habitual resolution-failure to do?

This year, with my teeth set in determination, I have launched a resolution campaign based on a 1980's slogan:
The original intent for this slogan was for the War on Drugs (political opinions repressed here), but I decided it was perfect for me.  It fits into all aspects of my life, and if anyone needs to be reminded of the Power of No, it's me.  For example:

1.  With regards to me:  No is a powerful vitamin, according to my favorite child psychologist, John Rosemond.  Remember that point and name, son, because I am coming back to it.  Personally, I need to take more Vitamin N.  Because if I'm eating Vitamin N, I am not eating the aforementioned mini cheesecakes.  Mommy is going to say "NO" to empty treats and foods that don't help with my overall health.  See?  I didn't resolve to eat healthy, I resolved to say no to foods that aren't healthy.  I can say one word.  And since I am going to be using it all over, this should be more attainable. 

1a.  I am also going to start saying "NO" to things that call for me to volunteer for crazy crap.  I have what I have officially diagnosed as Helium Hand.  My friggin hands just rise up on the wind at any call for help or volunteerism.  Someone needs help waxing their car after I've just finished a full day of whatever?  There goes my hand.  Someone needs 700 cupcakes made in 10 hours?  Float, float, float... up it goes.  Now, I'm not saying I'm not going to be helpful to realistic causes, but sometimes I agree to help out with some ridiculous sh*t.  I will remain a good friend, but I am officially taking the titles of Doormat and Flunkie off my curriculum vitae. 

2.  With regards to you and Daddy:  It's probably going to make me sound like a mean mommy, but I honestly have no problem telling you no.  It goes back to that Vitamin N thing from John Rosemond.  (See?  Closed that loop.  Booya)  Another episode of Caillou or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse? Nope.  Go outside.  Can you have a cookie ten minutes before dinner?  No way, Jose'.  I am a Vitamin N dosing professional when it comes to you.  Daddy doesn't ask for too much, so I don't usually have to give him the N word.  So how I am going to put my resolution to work for you guys is sorta related to Points 1 and 1a.  I am going to say no to things that take me away from you and Daddy.  Laundry and dishes will wait while I play with the two of you.  All things pale in comparison when it comes to spending time with my little family.  I need to remember that, especially when I feel a relapse in my Helium Hand condition coming on.

2a.  HOWEVER!  There are times when Mommy just needs to be alone.  And as much as I love the two of you, I may need to tell you and Daddy no, just so I can sit down and chill for a bit.  I am a raging perfectionist.  I want to make your little hearts desires come to fruition.  I want to make Daddy a happy guy.  But Mommy is only one chick.  If I am currently in the middle of something, I need to stop trying to fulfill every whim you have or help Daddy do whatever at the same time.  The end result is a messy job on both accounts and a frazzled Mommy.  That doesn't help anyone.  So, I need to be better about saying no, gently of course, until I have completed a thought, at the very least.  This is going to be tough for me, but my resolve is strong.

So, there's my resolution for 2013.  One simple word will be all I need for a year of success.  By saying no to extemporaneous stuff, I will have more time for you and Daddy.  By occasionally and gently saying no to you and Daddy, I will have time for me.  And with that comes a good balance in my life.  Maybe then I will even have time for four hours of yoga.

I love you Bear,

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